everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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