So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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