he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
