pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
