I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
