I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
