I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
