she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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