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guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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