Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
