Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
