If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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