Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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