i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
