Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
i now understand why vodka
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
