I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
