It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
