I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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