i jhust puked up my retainher.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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