My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
