piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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