I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
