It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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