Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
