she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
