There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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