Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
