So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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