Sponge bath it is.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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