My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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