it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
