U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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