so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
