Girls should come with a carfax report
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
