My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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