i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
