At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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