are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
