Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
you will always have a special place in my vag
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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