he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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