You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
When did angry sex become our thing?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Randomize
