But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You are a genius and a whore.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
