Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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