Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
