WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
