Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
