I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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