waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
