I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
