The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
