I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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