somebody snuck up and got me drunk
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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